The Fable of the

Keokuk Bible

Volume One

In the beginning there was the Warsaw formation; busily dropping its treasure into the streams to roll merrily down the Mississippi river. But lo... the Mormons came to Keokuk and GSE (The Great Supreme Entity) was worried. Who was this Joe guy? What miracle did he see?

While peeking over the clouds near Navoo the GSE spotted a Mormon woman bathing in the creek. She bent down and picked up a broken geode to admire its beauty. The GSI was also admiring this beauty and discovered, for the first time, the Warsaw formations treasure.

The GSE, being so struck, made a decree that all humans should enjoy this geode and vowed to keep his eye on Keokuk until the meteor hits. All was well... the Mormons left for Utah, a bonfire was lit under their temple and marshmallows were roasted.

But lo... the world was in chaos. Wars were waged, decisions were made, and people were slaughtered. The GSE was very busy and soon forgot about the Keokuk geodes. Generations passed, treaties were signed and with the Superbowl over, the GSE finally got a day off. But, when the GSE went to Keokuk to crack a geode and be happy, he couldn't find one. The land had changed and where he once found geodes was now a highway.

The GSE came up with a plan to discover this treasure once more. His plan was to find the smartest man in Keokuk and persuade him to search for his lost treasure. While getting his crown fixed by a local dentist, the GSE spotted his man. He was smart, and good with tools and books. This mans name was Steve and the GSE sent him about his geode business. The GSE, not knowing how he created such beauty, decreed that Steve should write a good explanation for their creation that would include enough big words to satisfy the geologists. Geodes were cracked, pages were written and the geode bible was born. It was called 'The Fabulous Keokuk Geode' and the Keokuk geode was forever to be loved.

Volume Two

But lo... The world was again in turmoil. Richard Nixon was being a pain and that pesky war in Vietnam. So the GSE proof read the Keokuk bible, told Steve to anoint and publish, and rushed off to visit Henry Kissinger. But Steve was overcome with emotion for the geode. He felt that everyone should be able to find their own geode and enjoy it like he did. So, ignoring the GSE's instructions, Steve kept writing. He kept writing and drew some maps, but without the GSE to guide him, he could not see the future. He could not see the landowners turning against him when they were trampled by the thundering hoards of rockhounds. So, in his ignorance, a large map with x's was drawn and the Warsaw formation opened its bosom to the masses.

The maps were drawn with such care and accuracy that one could dig out a dewdrop diamond standing on the hood of his/her car. The landowners gave the word "no" to the GSE who changed the pronunciation to two syllables and sent it far away to New Zealand. Many geodes were cracked and the sparkle was enjoyed by people all over the world.

Volume Three

But lo.... trouble would soon come over the land. Everyone in the land had geodes. Every porch, every garden and every window sill had a geode displayed. But in pursuit of only hollow geodes, the solids were thrown down into the creeks. The weight of all those billions of solids opened a big hole in the ground and allowed the evil SGA (Solid Geode Angel) to emerge from the depths and he covered the Warsaw formations in overburden. The evil SGA hardened the landowners hearts and made them forget the value of the treasure hidden under the corn and beans. He brought the word 'no' back from New Zealand, capitalized and boldfaced it, and gave it back to the landowners.

When the GSE took his next day off, he saw what the evil SGA had done. He quickly recruited the lord of Hamilton to pick up all the solid geodes he could find. Solids were found and gathered in piles and thrown in the beds of wrecked pickups to sell to unsuspecting tourists who knew not the difference. Tacky signs were made by people who could not spell and put on these piles and the 'solid' curse was soon lifted from the land. While helping the lord of Hamilton pick solids out of Waggoner creek, the GSE met a man who lived on this beautiful stream. This mans name was Mike and he had a plan. Mikes plan was to have a big festival to celebrate the geode and invite anyone who wanted to find a geode to come. The GSE loved the plan and empowered this man to carry it out. Well... Mike found another man named Mike, and with his family, friends, and fellow rockhounds, brought to life the Geode Festival. A survey was made of the Keokuk residents, and it found that only a very few folks of this river city even knew what a geode was. Based on that data, the Mikes decided to hold the festival in Hamilton where the heroes of the 'solid geode wars' resided. People gathered, geodes were cracked, and life was good once more in Keokuk land.

Volume Four Coming Soon!

Highlights include:

Stay tuned!

The Geode Hunter